Shelves of books have been written about planning your life. They ask the question “Where do you see yourself in five years?” They suggest writing down your long-term, short-term, and medium-range goals. They stress the importance of aligning your goals with your values. Your goals can be sorted into categories such as career or professional, family, spiritual, health, fitness and lifestyle. Once the goals are defined, an action plan is formed. The action plan has specific tasks with dates for completion. We’ve all heard these ideas before and some actively apply these principals while the rest pay lip-service to them as a noble endeavor.

In the movie Forrest Gump, Forrest was not much of a planner. Forrest relied mostly on dumb luck. And through the magic of Hollywood he succeeded beyond anyone’s wildest dreams. From football star to Army hero to Shrimpin’ magnate to loving husband and father, Forrest had good fortune or dumb luck on his side at every turn. Are you an active life planner or are you hoping for some Gump-like dumb luck?

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Adversity is defined as an adverse fortune or fate; a condition marked by misfortune, calamity, or distress. Synonyms include anguish, difficulty, grief, hardship, ordeal, pain, plight, suffering, torment, tribulation, trouble and woe. Sounds a lot like life, doesn’t it? Anyone who is alive experiences adversity on a daily basis. It Happens! How a person deals with adversity depends a lot on a person’s perspective or frame-of-mind.

In the movie Forrest Gump, there is a humorous scene that occurs when Forrest is in the midst of his run across America. During his transcontinental journey Forrest attracted many followers, and as his run became a legendary trek these people sought his advice as though he were a sage. One fellow approached Forrest seeking council for a business idea. At that very moment, Forrest accidently stepped right into a big pile of dog … well surely you remember the scene. The man shouted, “Whoa, you just stepped in a pile of dog sh–!” and Forrest calmly stated, “It Happens!”

What do you do when you step in it? If you are alive and participating in life, adversity continually happens. Your reaction to adversity is a choice. Are you one who accepts it and starts the process of cleaning up and moving forward? Or are you one who gets angry, over-reacts and fights against that which was probably un-avoidable?

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In the movie Forrest Gump, there is a very memorable line that Forrest declares at key points; “And that’s all I’ve got to say about that”! Because it is so memorable, I was surprised when I reflected on the movie and realized it was only heralded three times. The first time Forrest proclaimed those words was in Washington, DC at the Vietnam War protest in front of the Washington Monument reflecting pool. Forrest was asked by Abbie Hoffman to say a few words about the war. It’s a humorous moment because Forrest supposedly gives an inspirational and very moving message. Ironically, Forrest’s speech is never actually heard as the PA system wires were unplugged by the army general. The mic comes back on just in time to hear Forrest’s famous proclamation. The second time the line was uttered Forrest was sitting on the park bench concluding his tale of the War story where Lt. Dan was rescued and Bubba died on the beach. The third and final time Forrest uses the line is when he eulogizes his mother, “She had got the cancer and died on a Tuesday. I bought her a new hat with little flowers on it. And that’s all I have to say about that.”

Each time Forrest voiced the line was upon narrating a dramatic and painful personal event. He was serious and reflective in his story and he concluded by affirming that there was nothing more to say. What if we could speak that powerfully and plainly in each aspect of our lives? What if we utilized powerful and direct speaking not only in times of pain and sorrow but also times of happiness? What if our communication in our daily lives was direct and to the point? How might the workplace and our relationships benefit from such straightforward speaking?

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“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” The Greek philosopher Epictetus (AD 55-c.135) understood that effective communication relies on both listening and speaking.

I recently learned another phrase that gets to the heart of effective communication – Are You Interesting or Interested? This phrase also promotes listening as the foundation for two people to really understand each other. To listen effectively, one must be interested in the person who is speaking and what they are saying. Since Personal Responsibility is at the heart of my own beliefs and teachings, let’s examine how we individually can take 100% responsibility for our listening. Are you willing to be more Interested than Interesting the next time you have a conversation?

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The originally scheduled blog post for today, “Are you Interesting or Interested?” will unfortunately be delayed. Due to inclement weather and difficult travel, Mr. Weber is unable to submit his article today; we will attempt to have this available for you by the end of the week.

Please accept our apologies, and check back tomorrow for a good read!

Many Thanks,

The Editor

This past weekend I attended a seminar given by Landmark Education called the Power to Create, which is their advanced communication course. In a previous post, I mentioned the work I’ve done with Landmark in the past year. At the heart of their teaching core is transformation. Transformation occurs in a person’s life by putting the past behind and living powerfully in the present and future by individual responsibility, integrity and personal choices.

The Power to Create is a 2 ½ day seminar that a single posting will not do justice. However, I will attempt to describe it in the broadest terms and give you a flavor of the impact it had on me. To describe simply, the Power to Create is an advanced communication seminar, and at the heart of the teaching is language. One’s life is created by the spoken words we communicate daily. The life we’ve lived to date has been created by our language. And the life you will live in the future will be generated by the language you use in spoken communication with others. The words that come from your mouth are the foundation for the reality you create for yourself and others.

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 In the last post, I presented the idea that New Possibilities are more powerful than New Year’s Resolutions. New Possibilities are future-based while resolutions are (more often than not) past-based. 

To achieve future-based possibilities as opposed to past-based resolutions or fixes, it is necessary to give up something from one’s past. The process of giving something up creates a clearing or opening for a new possibility to emerge. Without a clearing first occurring, new possibilities are extremely difficult – and most likely a fix will be the best one can hope for. This giving up can also be called letting go. We all seem reluctant to let go of the past. Are you holding on to something from your past so tightly that your future is clouded? What thing(s) from your past are you willing let go of to create a clearing for your own new possibilities?

In the spirit of putting my money where my mouth is, here are my own personal New Possibilities for 2010 – and the things that I’m willing to give up to get there!

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In my last post, I described transformation as a future-based possibility, a new way of being. Transformation isn’t about fixing or improving or making better or more. To fix or improve is past-based. Transformation, rather, is a freedom from the past. It’s honestly looking at where you stand in the present and creating a future based on where you want to go, not a future based on where you’ve been. Giving up the past is the key to future freedom and new possibilities.

So how does that tie into New Year’s Resolutions versus the idea of New Beginnings or New Possibilities? It’s as simple as past-based thinking versus thinking in the present and future. I contend that resolutions are typically past-based and are most often a fix, improvement, or making better. New Possibilities are about the present and future without the guilt associated with trying to fix the past. Did you personally make any New Year’s Resolutions? Were they past-based and designed only to fix or improve? Are you willing to give up the past and try beginning anew with possibilities instead of resolutions that typically are forgotten in a week or month?

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